The Lost Shoe
by OiishiKata
Summary: challange story for me to make a YAOI RoyXEd including somewhere in the story that Ed loses his shoe....im not sure how many chapters I'm putting in. Almost cowritten with Rosemary's Granddaughter she's writting a couple of chapter's.
1. Prologe

FMA Story Lost Shoes

Story written for: SaRa-MaXwElL lol u will see my power! .

Warning for all Yaoi haters Go away if u don't like it then stay away from my story if u start flaming my story going oh yaoi is wrong I'll laugh and ignore u so leave now because I don't want to listen to you complain.

Disclaimer... Do I Have to say it... " fine FMA is not mine and ill never own it ...good? Good now I can keep denying it to myself

Here we go

Roy smirked as he heard Ed coming down the hall toward his office. The yells that traveled down the hall told him that the alchemist was ticked about something. He laughed on last time before he made himself look like he was busy. He never really was. He heard the smaller alchemist enter near Riza there was a quick exchange of words before she opened his door and let Edward in. He pretended not to notice the blond who now stood in front of him.

"Mustang you called?" grumbled Ed as he obviously didn't want to be there.

"Hm.. oh Full Metal I didn't see you there." Roy smirked as he said this knowing it would get a rise out of Ed because of his height complex. A twitch was seen just before Ed exploded at Roy "Who are calling so short he could fall through a microscopic hole in the floor!" Roy's trademark smirk was in place.

The normalcy of it all. Then he noticed something was off about the blond...he was shorter then normal... wait he wasn't wearing shoes. what the heck?

"Full Metal I hate to ask this but where are your shoes?" Roy rubbed the bridge of his nose deciding he probably didn't want to know but asking out of curiosity anyway. "Heh now that's an odd story." said Ed quickly cooling down from his outburst. "I would greatly appreciate hearing it." Roy said as he tried figuring out in his mind what could have happened. " Heh yeah well it all started this morning when I got Riza's call to come in to the office I searched my whole room for them they weren't there... I think someone is messing with me..." Ed seemed agitated at what he said.

Roy sighed" your just paranoid Ed I'm sure you just misplaced them somewhere. Just go buy a new pair." Ed grumbled as he moved toward Roy's shoe closet. "I'm barrowing a pair of yours for the walk." Ed's eyes widened as he opened the closet to find……..

Lmao cliffy for you guys hehe

read this or be confused

Let me specify something for all you people you might want to read this or all those who have see the whole series will be confused when I write FMA stories they usually are Ed still has auto mail Al has his body back and Hughes is alive so just to specify for all those who are wondering.


	2. shoes where are you

Ok Chappie 2 All ------the found shoes and the missing culprit----------

A special thanks to my first two reviewers:

Nekogirltheanimefreak no worries to you and your sister I'll update as often as possible thank you for your review and I hope you fallow as my story progresses. love ya both.

And

SaRa-MaXwElL I do not hate short chapters and I know where you live to infact I know where you sleep muhahahahaha lmao you need to answer your cell phone or at least call back when people leave messages butt munch.

-------- Starting of the next chappie. ---------

Roy sighed" your just paranoid Ed I'm sure you just misplaced them somewhere. Just go buy a new pair." Ed grumbled as he moved toward Roy's shoe closet. "I'm barrowing a pair of yours for the walk." Ed's eyes widened as he opened the closet to find his shoes sitting right in front of him.

Turning to look at Roy who was working on his paperwork again he said," Huh look what I found." Roy looked up to see Ed holding the pair of black boots up. Roy blinked a few times," I have absolutely no clue where those came from." Ed looked at the boots before looking at Roy again seeing the almost completely innocent look on his face and decided the man probably did not take his boots." So who was it then?" Roy looked blankly at Ed for a moment before saying," I have no clue, think who has been in your house lately?"

This one made Ed think. A lot of people had been through the house as of late I mean Al and Winry had come up for a visit the other day. Of coarse when they visit Riza comes over to chat with Winry and see how everything was going they would always disappear for a few hours when that happened. Hughes and his family had also come over with invite from Al because he wanted to see the Major and his daughter. But of coarse it could not be any of them. Right?

Ed grumbled something about shoes stealing Clay Akin elves before leaving Roy's office. Roy moved over to his closet to look inside to see if there were any more surprises in the small area. He leaned over and picked up a small pink what looked like a small Barbie doll shoe called out to Riza. "Hey Riza were you watching Elysia-chan last night?" Riza came into the office and saw the shoe in his hand." Yes for a few hours." She took the shoe out of his hand carefully a thought came to her. Well that's how Ed's shoes ended up in there she thought.

End Chappie

Yo! waves No, I am no your wondrous authoress… But I am Her MUSE! cackles evilly The unrevealed thief is my concoction, so enjoy her wonderful twists and the Barbie shoes!  
Love ya lots!  
Aryan Griffin

And now for the actual authoress

Lolz love my muse because she is the whole reason I got this chappie out so quickly and gave me a whole plot to run off of so love her and view her fanfics too ….kicks Griffin put out your FMA one …..We all know it's finished. Lol so read on If I get reviews…..even one I may get another chapter out soon. love ya all and thanks again to my viewers all of them.

Me


	3. Elysia's thoughts

ElysiaChans POV!

Uuh yea one more chappie for my readers. lol Im trying to make them longer

Ooooo00000ooooStart Elysia POVoooooo000000oooo

Im sitting on the floor of Mr. Ed and Mr. Al's living room floor waiting for Ms.Hawkeye to oicke me up cause mommy says she wants to talk to Ms. Winry and doesn't want to watch me. So since Ms. Hawkeye can't come she's going to watch me. So I'm sitting here listning to mommy talk to Mr. Al and Mr. Ed and Ms. Winry about how Mr. Roy is a is a what did mommy call him a womanizer? Something like that and she says that he needs to settle down with one wife. Then she tells Mr. Ed he needs a girlfriend to keep him in line because mommy says he needs home made dinners not fast food and he needs to settle down and stop moving around so much. Apparently Mr. Ed doesn't want that cause he started complaining to mommy and the he got hit by Ms. Winry It was funny.

Then I brought my Barbie dolls over to show them the great Idea that I had.

Ooooo00000ooooNo POV for a momentoooo0000oooo

"Mommy, mommy look look."Elysia cried as she held up her Barbie doll and Ken doll."This is Mr. Roy and this is Mr. Ed" she said as she held one up at a time motioning who was who. Then she pushed them together making kissy noises." They're married," she said matter of factly nodding happily.

Oooooo0000ooooElysia's POV again oooo0000ooooooo

Mommy must have thought that was funny because she was smiling as she looked at Mr. Ed. Mr. Ed didn't look very happy though he was turning red it's a funny color. Mr. Al is talking to him but I'm not listening as I walk back to the living room. I see Mr. Ed's boots by the door like mommy and daddy's but there boots are always next to each others. That's right if I put Mr. Ed's boots by Mr. Roy's boots they'll be like mommy and daddy and they'll be all happy. Because Mr. Ed would make a good mommy he short and has pretty hair like mommy's. So I'll put Mr. Ed's boots in my back pack and since Ms. Riza is bringing me to Mr. Roy's office, which isn't where I want to leave them but Mr. Roy has another pair of boots in his office that will have to work.

-knock knock- yey Ms. Riza's here "come on Elysia darling Ms. Riza's here!" mommy called from the Kitchen. "Coming" I call back to her. I zipped up my back pack as fast as possible mommy probably would take the boots away if she saw me with them. I pull on my back pack and see Ms. Riza by the door. "Ready Elysia?" Ms. Riza asks me. "Yepp." I call up to her smiling." Alright lets get going." She said and took me to her car and put me in my seat.

Oooo000oooAt the office.ooo000ooooo

We finally get to the office's and Mr. Roy's door is open perfect. Now I just need to wait for Ms. Riza to look away. Alright! I moved quickly into Mr. Roy's office opening the door to his closet I found his extra pair of boots sitting on the shoe rack. So I quickly put Mr. Ed's there too. Yey now they're like mommy and daddy." Elysia you know you're not allowed in there." Called Ms. Riza from the other room." Comming," I reply so Ms. Riza doesn't come in hopefully she wont think to come in if I leave quickly. Perfect now Mr. Roy and Mr. Ed can be happy.

Ooo0000ooooowoohoo thats where we left offooooo00000ooo

Authress notes Sorry It took so long to update I had to figure out how to write this chapter I wanted to hit what our evil shoe stealer was thinking while she did it and how Ed ended up without shoe im not sure where im going from here I know this will be RoyxEd and Im thinking AlxWinry...maybe...vote on this I may just leave the only pairing RoyxEd...so yeah put your votes in your reveiws I'll keep tally and put updated amounts with each chappie. And Yes SaraMaxwell you have to reveiw too I will not take votes over the phone and no your vote doesnt count as more then one.I dont care what you say. thats all for now all I'll update asap IF you reveiw. love ya all Naruto'sChick.


	4. The Joys of fatering

Joys of the father

I would like to thank My reviewers:

just a rambling romantic

foxy-comic-death

Kyaku-kun

Kaibafangirl77

Nekogirltheanimefreak

And my helpful plotter

Aryan Griffin: WOOT! I rule more then she does… even though she actually updates her ficcy's in a timely manner… -coughs innocently- 'later today' did not turn into two weeks after two months after four months…..

Narutoschick: ignore her she rambles sometimes --" yeah keep reading my loyal reviewers!

I would also like to give creds to my helpful friend who set me up with the story line

SaRa-MaXwelL…..I think that's how u do ur name XD

Oo0000oooostart chappieoooooo0000ooooo

As one Riza Hawkeye drove down the street toward the Hugh's humble home….humble heh yeah right. She ponderd about the little pink Barbie shoe that she currently held in her hand. Now If her thought process still worked this would imply that the hugh's five year old daughter was plotting to hook up two men up. Which confused the hell out of her. She quickly arrived at Maes's house pondering how a five year old could have plotted this and she was defiantly telling Gracia this I mean ……well you know.

Riza rang the door bell and was subjected to Hughs himself answering the door with a throbbing temple she called into the house for Gracia's help. The wonderful woman pulled him away by the ear.

"Please come in Riza, how are you taday?" Gracia asked as she served up tea for them both. "Very well but I have a question for you." Riza replied sipping at her still hot tea. Gracia nodded telling her to go on. "Well to start I should tell you we did find Ed's shoes, but it is what was found with the shoes that confuses me a little." At this point Hughs enters the room." We found this." She said as she held up the small pink Barbie shoe. The shoe was to one of Elysia's barbies she knew this because it had Elysia's name on it.

"Ohhh my little girl is a match maker! How sweet we must help her with her mission I mean wouldn't those two make the cuuutest couple!" Hughs said in his over joyouse fathering mode.( you know the one I mean.)

"...He does have a point Gracia,"said Hawkeye thinking about what the man said," They would make an adorable couple."

So time passed and the three of them started to plan they even called to winry (who went home) to tell her of their plans and for when she comes to visit she can help in the festivities. (woot! XD ) Soon the two men would find out the trap that would soon be set to see who's will was stronger those who wanted them together or their wanting to stay apart.

Oooo000oooEnd Chappie!ooo000oooo

Hey hey sorry this one is so short guys im really trying to make them longer really I am but I have troubles with that but at least when they are this long I update a lot I mean every like third day isn't that bad right? well I have two people pestering me all the time about it so how could I not update. Oo yeah Read and Reveiw please! Narutoschick XD


	5. The letter

The letter of Luuuuv.

Lol so people Im back with the next chappie of my story yey and once again my muse is in the

room to influence how the chappie goes -sigh- I have no clue what I would do without her.

My thanks to all my reveiwers so far some comments or just a thank you to al thoughs who have.

-Kaibafangirl77:

-Kyaku-kun:

-ArYuNvius:

-SaRa-MaXwElL: hello darling hope u feel better and keep reveiwing muhahahahahaha

-person: i have no clue who u are but thanks.

-just a rambling romantic: yes I will try to take ur advice but normaly when I type I just type

and dont care love your ex. though

Hello roy." said ed the full metal alchemist. "

Hullo ed, cheery good day, isnt it?" roy replied.

"Yes,yes, pip chap good day indeed!" they continued onÂ much to the dismay of the onllokers.

-foxy-comic-death

-nekogirltheanimefreak

Ooooo0000ooooostart of chappieoooo0000oooooo

So the planning started many diffrent plans were thought up and ever single one was denied

untill Winry calling up from her shop room where she had been working on auto-mail as she thought

had come up with the most brilliant plan. Secret admirer letters it was perfect they could send letters

between the two with out having to worry and since Hughs could forge Roys hand writting. Which

had come in handy for the man more then one time. He could easily do Roy's letters, and Al was also

skilled in doing his brothers hand writting because sometimes he would write up mission reports for him

so he wouldn't get in trouble it was set now they just had to write the letters. That was a whole new task

in itself. None of them had ever written love letters. Meas and Gracia just fell in love doing the date thing

so meas obviously didn't need sappy letters.(they told Al and pulled him into this.) Al was just now starting

to think about girls and dating so he was out. All Winry care about really is auto-mail so she wasn't

really any help. Then there was Riza

is there any reason anyone would ever think that Riza could write peotry.

Hughs tried writting something but it ended up creeping everyone out trying to sound lovey

dovey.

"Well it's better then what you guys have come up with I mean what have you written?"Hughs

yelled when his letter was rejected.

"Well I tried," said Riza," but its not very good im sure."

"Read it then, I mean it can't be any worse then mine," said Hughs who sat down dejectadly.

Riza cleared her throught before she started reading from the paper.

_To My Dearest Edward,_

_This is odd, I know, but perchance expected? No, I fear not. It would be too much to hope _

_that for some blessing you realized my feelings, my pain, and responded the same. Yet, I cannot _

_allow it to stay unexpressed. This word may seem a joke, but I assure you they're not._

I can truthfully say your hallowed presence has never once escaped my knowing gaze, watching you 

_as you fight the world's evil as your own demons. Your admirable bravery seems such foolery for one _

_so young, and yet, not one older, or grander, could possibly achieve the power you carry on your shoulders._

I'm rambling, aren't I?

Even in simple words I am afraid to share with your for that same fear of rejection, of your fiery gaze 

_to turn to ice and shun what little of me you would see. Yet also I can't take the pain of watching wander _

_the days past believing the only one who loves you with irrevocable passion, who would die for you to _

_continue your search, to live free, is your brother._

Here it is -

I love you.

Those words lose so much meaning in this world with their flippant use, but English only has one 

_phrase. Still, allow me to try and express it. You amaze me, Edward Elric, like the sun and moon _

_could never hope to challenge. You move me like a Sunday gospel tune shakes the mountains _

_with its parishioners hope. You ARE my hope. I live each day looking upon it in the hopes to see _

_your expressive face. _

You're beautiful, and yes I know, that's no proper way to address a man. No, I assure you, it is 

_not the beautiful of some over gaudy princess who waves her hand with airs. It is the beautiful of _

_a still ocean reflecting the astral painting of the sky. It is something so awe inspiring that God feels _

_human jealousy over your simple smile._

You are perfect, Edward. Never let a single misguided soul tell you otherwise.

Aishiteru.  


_I hope you learn that word's meaning, for it is not used as easily as a simple 'I love you', _

_It is said to only that for which one wishes to spend all eternity in their arms._

I bid thee farewell,

_With all I am,_

C.R.M

Someone coughed as Riza ended reading the letter she wrote."Yeah I know its horrible but

I just threw it together thinking what the hell what could I lose," she said quickly.

"No! Riza thats perfect," said Hughs jumping up," and if i replicate your letter it will look exactally

like Roys Ed will have to notice that!"

Ooooo0000oooooo End Chappie oooooo00000oooooooo

Thank my muse for the lovly written letter of Riza's hehehe who knew she could be sappy

Aryan Griffin Thank you thank you thank you


	6. authress note fixed

Authress note

OK! I want to throw a authress note in here just for u people because I have like questions and I

would also like to thank some repeat reveiwers!

First questions! and comments.

Kyaku-kun- Where'd you come up with that and what have you got planned for ed's letter if "he" writes one?

answer: Aryan Griffin wrote the letter in chapter 5 and I greatly appriciat the help she gives me in

writting this story and I would like to express that gratitude I dont know how many times she has helped

me get chapters up on time. And Ed's letter...XD I have no clue ask Aryan Griffin aka Griffy-poo (hehe thats her nick name)

just a rambling romanitic- oH... my... GOD... Riza was a poet and she didnt even know it. My apologies for the bad pun XD

comment: hehe yes she is a poet and dont worry bout the pun it wasn't that bad XD

KousukeAsazuki- Hehehehe...you made riza mushy, like a girl. Heheehehe, anyway good job. I can only imagine what you're gonna make Ed's letter look like

Comment/answer-ish like thing: yes Riza was very mushy and like I said ask Aryan Griffin about ed's letter

And My Thank You's to all those who reveiwed thank you so much ! .

-Kaibafangirl77

-Kyaku-kun

-ArYuNvius

-SaRa-MaXwElL

-person

-just a rambling romantic

-foxy-comic-death

-nekogirltheanimefreak

-KousukeAsazuki

-Rosemary's Granddaughter

Last but not least I will update in the next few days a real chapter but I need to talk to my muse again to write up another letter

this one for ed.


	7. Ed recieves the letter

Ed receives the letter

Ok so here we go sorry it took so long but I had a bout of writers block so I posted something

completely different it helped a little. And then next chapter to be put up WILL be done By my muse she

wanted to write that piticular scene so I said ok.

Oooo000oooooooStart chappie.ooooo00000oooooo

So the plan preceded Hugh's got the letter so he could copy Riza's handwriting to look like Roy's

hand writing. It was so simple then they would just slip it into the alchemist's mail box at work and pretend they

had no clue what was up. It was so perfect that nothing could go wrong...or so they all thought.

Oooooo00000ooooooooEast HQ that little room Riza, Havoc and people do their paper work inooo0000ooo

"Mail call," Riza called as she walked through and handed letters out. Two went to Havoc one to

Fury three one Riza's desk, six to Roys hand and finally one to Ed. Ed was surprised he had recieved a letter

the boy didn't get mail often.

"Smells pretty Ed who sent it to you," Roy said as he looked over the boys shoulder a big smile on

his face. "oooh I see Ed has a girlfriend! what does that smell like roses?" The colonel aughed at the alchemist

who was slowly turning red.

"I DO NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I HAVE NO CLUE WHO THIS LETTER IS FROM," the boy yelled,"

and I dont want to know either I'll just throw it away and not look at it."

An obvious twitch as she heard Ed say that about the letter she spent so much time writting...ok

so in reality it had only taken around a half hour but it was the thought that counted."Edward Elric YOU WILL

OPEN THAT LETTER AND YOU WILL READ IT OR ELSE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR LEGS AND MAKE YOU

EVEN SHORTER THEN YOU ALREADY ARE!" Riza yelled at the now terrified blond.

"Ok Ok don't have a cow Riza."Said Ed as he opened the letter and scaned its contents eyes widening his

mouth dropped open."Who the hell is CRM and what the hell is this."Ed yelled as went into a mental break down and

started talking so fast no one was able to decipher what he said.

"Calm down Full Metal it just looks like a love letter,"the colonel said as he looked at the letter,"oooh looks

like you have a girl who likes you."

Ooooo00000ooooooend chappieooooo00000ooooooooooo

uuuh next one will be out as soon as Griffy sends it to me to post...or I have her do it...yeah sooner then

this came out at least.


	8. Murphy's Law

A/N – Welcome one and all to my twisted abode. This is Rosemary's Granddaughter ( has otherwise been known as Blade Griffin, Danika Griffin, Peanut Gallery – Alaska's own, and Aryan Griffin… Yes, my real name IS Griffin.) and I give you a glimpse into the mind that inspires your authoress to post in an almost timely manner. I hope you enjoy the next chapter, and yes, I do realize the letters are two VERY different pieces of work, but then, don't you think someone would be immediately suspicious if the two mystery love letters sounded almost exactly alike?

So, Fullmetal Alchemist is not mine… but the barbie shoe, the letters, blah, blah, blahs, your authoress actually posting, the world going round, your mother not drowning at birth (and yes, I really am regreting that one), la, la, la, all thanks to me… Ok, so the middle three….

Murphy's Law

Chapter 11 of the Lost Shoe

This wouldn't do.

Winry had been called up around four in the afternoon by an irate Riza, her normal calm demeanor in shambles by the near blunder with her eloquently jotted love note from the cocky colonel. Edward nearly threw it away? What sort of boy would simply toss out a lovely lady's love note?

Oh right, a gay one.

She gave an inner smirk as she wrapped her arms tighter around herself, cursing her choice of mini-skirt and the damn leather jacket who just now decided that a zipper was more a luxury then necessity for the shivering blond. The one mechanical mechanism she couldn't fix without Pinako's help – the damn sewing machine was hell bent on devouring her fingers, honest! Besides, after she broke the third one and chucked the useless remains out the window, her grandmother had declared she had better find a damn handy man to marry, or at least a dirty rich sucker who wouldn't mind replacing every womanly craft accessory in the house at least three times a week.

She quickened her pace, glowering at her breathe's declaration that it was too fucking cold out. Stupid white puffs, who wants your input anyway? Finally she reached the place that she'd been slowly making her way towards the entire day. On the cheerful cardboard cut out lawn with that little picket fence stood the 'Hughes' mailbox, that deceivingly adorable 9880 painted on in Elysia's charming scrawl at two years old. Of course the sentimental fool would keep the brats 'artwork' on permanent display.

With a quick rap on the door, she bounced impatiently to keep herself warm, nearly choking when she saw the thermometer in the window. 50 degrees. It was a whole fifty degrees and she felt like her very pert derrière was going to fall off? How - 

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off when the front door opened to show… a nice blank space on the Hughes's wall where an adult's head should be. Instead, a few feet lower was a beaming little girl, squealing happily as she announced the visitor. "Mama, It's Winny! It's Winny!"

"Oh, hello Winry!" Gracia said with her ever open smile, wiping her hands clean as she came from the kitchen. "How are you doing? Oh! Come in!"

Winry gratefully followed the leading hand, taking a seat on the living room sofa. "I'm actually here to harass that no-good husband of yours." She joked. "He owes me money."

"Oh goodness." Gracia answered in good humor. "What has he done this time?"

Suddenly there was a crashing clamor from the hall as the man of the moment uttered a few childproof curses such as 'oh snickerdoodles and their mother's poodle!' while dodging an angry pile of books that saw this as the convenient time to fly off the shelf in his direction. "Someone's talking about me!" he hollered. "Just don't ruin Daddy's pristine image in his angel's eyes. Wait, on second thought – Elysia, my darling, Ignore anything your lovely Aunt Winry says, she was dropped on her head far to many times as a very ugly baby."

"HEY!"

"Well, I know things are going to be interesting, but while I hate to leave all this action, we still need chicken for the pasta since someone forgot it on his way home." Gracia gave an over exaggerated eye roll while shamelessly smiling over her husbands frantic – 'Oh SHI-ps ahoy! I'm sorry! I'll never forget ever again!' She whispered, "That's what he said last week with the eggs, except it was 'FU-rootloops in rotten milk!'."

Winry gave an amused chuckle and waved goodbye to the lady of the house as she waited for the resident half-wit to show his face. There was always that random rumor that there was more to Hughes then it seemed… and for humanities sake, she hoped so.

"So, what to wonderful curse do I specify in the restraining order for the reason of your visit?" Hughes joked as he walked into the room, 'oooing' in his overly fatherish way on Elysia's latest elephant… or horse…. Giraffe, maybe?

"The certain events following the 'Case of Selective Shoe Placement'." Winry said in a spy ambiance, making it quite clear that while the little girl was adorable, small children have big ears. Like Dumbo!

"Ah." Hughes was immediately serious, giving Winry a small amount of hope for human kind, nodding in approval as he shooed his 'little angel' off to her room to make a 'secret pretty for Mommy'. With a heavy sigh he collapsed next to her on the sofa, closing his eyes. "Am I correct in guessing you've been properly informed of the situation?"

"By a rather distraught Riza. I do believe the timing of this endeavor was badly planned." Winry said.

"How so? I doubt Ed would have been anymore accepting during any other time." Hughes reasoned.

"But Riza wouldn't have her dear friend Tom visiting for the week."She reasoned back.

"Tom?"

"He's red and skips out at the first sign of a baby."

"What an As-Oooooh…"

After that declaration the conversation hit an awkward lull, neither of the pair quite knowing what to say next. They weren't so much 'friends' as they were 'friendly aquaintances' or 'a friend's friend' and because of that had never been stuck alone for such a long period of time. Eventually, Maes – being the big responsible hunk of a man he is – broke the silence.

"So I'm guessing you have more to discuss on the topic then its, uh- inconvenient arrival."

"Oh! Yes!" Winry turned around and suddenly out of the ever legendary 'spandex space' pulled a gigantic mound of paper and several dozen pens. With a cheerful chirp she declared. "We have work to do!"

"What!" 

The intelligence officer was obvious stuck between oblivious and hoping she didn't want what he thought she wanted because what she wanted was not what he want by any measure of wanting's wanting…. Oh, no… she did.

"We have a love letter to write!" 

"Whhhhhhy!" Maes gave the most unmanly whine in history without a shred of shame. "Surely Riza told you what happened the LAST time I helped."

"Yes, well, while 'Oh Eddie – Beddie, you are my shmoopsie poodle' is not what we need, you know what Roy would respond to and I know what Edward would write. Believe me, I even brought the notes he wrote to his first grade girlfriend Melinda." At his confused expression she explained. "She was his imaginary garden gnome."

… Maes didn't ask for further embellishment.

–

-

-

"WE'VE GOT IT!" Winry announced proudly, standing with the finished document practically glowing in its inspirational light.

"Are… Are you sure?" Hughes asked with a hopeful gleam to his eyes. It had been the longest hour of his life, this damn letter, but it was done.

"Yes! Here, let me read it out loud, it's easier to catch mistakes that way." With a professional cough she cleared her throat and began.

"'Roy,

I guess the easiest way to deal with this would be to start spouting off lines from my favorite sonnet, but I hate poetry and well, I hate you too.

Or, more I did. 

Hell, sometimes I still do, but I – well I can't bring myself to mean it anymore because while you're undeniably obnoxious to the point of giving even myself an aneurysm, I love you.

Damn, Al's gonna kill me for this,

Edward Elric'"

Winry paused a moment in critical thought, hmming this way and that. "Hm, I don't know... Maybe we sho-"

"Hey, Gracia! I made it!"

Murphy's Law was life's biggest bitch, because at that moment Edward Elric had chosen to walk through the doors of the Hughes home without the slightest knock to warn the plotters within, and that left them in a very tight spot. As the bobbing head turned the corner, Maes did the only thing he swore he'd never, ever, ever do, and promptly began making out with another woman on his wife's favorite sofa.

"Hey- WHOA!" Ed gave an embarrassed cough as the pair jumped apart, Winry having slid the letter to safety in Hughes's shirt during some rather 'friendly' petting. "Sorry, I didn't me- WINRY!"

"Uhhhhhuhuhh… Um, heh, Hi, Ed?" She offered nervously, just now realizing the ramifications of the officer's actions. Her best friend was probably categorizing her under 'Home wrecker' and 'Like Butter'.

"M-Maes, Winry… How could you.. What about Gracia!" Ed was thankfully stuck at the processing stage, but quickly moving towards the righteous anger and justified removal of limbs.

Thinking quickly once again, Hughes wrapped his arm around Winry's shoulders, pulling her close as he made his dramatic explanation "I'm sorry that you had to find out like this, Edward, but Winry and I- We've been having a passionate affair for weeks now!"

"YEAH! I'M KINDA NOTICING!" Fullmetal exploded before calming himself again by glaring daggers at the floor. Suddenly the glare turned inquisitive as he picked up a crumpled piece of paper. "What the – "'Dearest Stud Muffin Roy, I'm sorry but we have to end this charade of lies and-'"

Hughes snatched the failed letter from the alchemist and made yet another excuse. "It's my note to Roy explaining how I have to end our affair so I can have Winry. It's a very touchy subject, so please, don't ask."

"And that's why the floor's covered in them?" The teen asked suspiciously.

"I, uh, also have a, uh, paper fetish." He rolled the ball along Winry's skin and mutter. "Oh yeah, baby, oh, yes Winry, like that…"

"That's the first I've ever heard of this." Came the calm female voice from the kitchen door.

Winry immediately found herself hurled over the sofa and Maes on his knees before his wife, clasping her hands as he vainly begged for forgiveness. "Its not what it looks like! I – Oh crap – well um," he fought fruitlessly to find a path of 'non-divorce' with his lovely and cherished wife without blowing the entire cover he had with Ed.

"Its ok, Maes. You don't have to hid it from Ed, I think the truth will surprise him less then your so called 'affair'." She said evenly with a small smile and a frantic look came to her husband's already panicked expression as she continued. "You see, Ed, the truth is that... well…" There was a pregnant pause. "Well, after so many years of marriage your sex life gets a little dull and you want to start experimenting. Amongst your choices is a threesome. Roy offered, but both Maes and I felt it would be a bit more comfortable with another woman the first few times. You understand dear, don't you?" 

All was silent as the legendary Fullmetal Alchemist could do nothing more then gawk like the fish out of water he was and stutter helplessly until he fought out the words.,"I-I forgot th-that A-Al wanted to see me t-tonight…"

And with that he was gone.

Maes still sat cringing at his wife's feet, knowing there would be hell in only moments. Instead she said, "Maes, did you really think it would take me an hour to find chicken?"

"Um…"

"Oh, and by the way, I think the note's just lovely the way it is, and dinner's ready."

No one noticed the wide and impressionable eyes watching the entire scene from her bedroom.

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A/N – So there you have it! I hope you enjoyed the chapter (Over two thousand words, bitches . ) , leave your souls on the buffet table and add a review if you feel special.

Actual authress note………xD I am now afraid of my muse………..yeah have fun.


	9. Oh the Horror

Oh the horror of it all Roy is about to get his note.

Sorry all school started and I was immediately swamped with projects and tons of Homework it sucks –sigh- BUT I have a day off so here's a chapter……. Hopefully this'll be good.

Happy Griffy?

Ooooooooooo000000000000oooooooooooooo

As the all mighty much loved Roy Mustang walked into work that particular day he was feeling pretty good. Maybe even good enough to do some paperwork.(GASP omg it's a miracle)

He walked into his office to see his subordinates sitting at the table doing their work. Except Havoc who as always had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Sitting down at his desk whistling he looked at the little stack of mail on his desk and decided to go though it first.

Holding a little envelope in his hand he flipped it over a couple of times there was no return address. 'Hmm that's odd' he thought as he opened it he read the letter through a couple of times before breaking out laughing. Everyone in the room looked at Roy as if he was nuts which in reality he was but that put aside they were defiantly curious.

"Oh that is priceless," Roy said between giggles," So where IS Ed at? Isn't he do in today too? "Riza moved over reading the note over Roy's shoulder her eyes went wide no one was supposed to have written any names yet darn those two could she not trust them with such a simple task.

"Roy isn't it obvious that Ed is worried you will reject him or only want him for a fling like all those women?" Riza tried first." And didn't you tell me you liked him too once?" this one was whispered in Roy's ear so only he could hear it.

"So instead of turning him down and being mean to him why don't you court him?" Riza suggested.

The colonel looked contemplative about this one," Not actually a bad Idea actually."

"But you know how stubborn Ed can be sometimes he will probably deny writing that at first he will think you're just messing with his head trying to hurt him." Riza was going to make this work no matter what that was just one set back she would have this back on track and moving smoothly in a jiffy.

Oooooooooooooo000000000000000ooooooooooooo

Sooo yeah that was just a quick post for griffy's sake because she was once again whining about me not updating.


	10. A rose By any other name

A/N – hey! This is the Griff, and reading Jen's last chapter I couldn't help myself but cause a little havoc with it. She told you what everyone else saw and thought happened, not we get to see what out lovely Colonel was REALLY thinking.

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A Rose By Any Other Name

The Lost Shoe

Chapter Ten

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As Roy Mustang walked into work that day, he was feeling pretty good….

Roy looked about his office, his cocky smirk in place as he went. One never openly smiled at one's subordinates. It made them feel all 'special' and 'accomplished'. Those nasty little feelings led to demands of 'raises' and 'promotions'. Better to just be a complete and utter ass, waltzing around as the King of all Officedom.

Not to mention it was much more fun that way. If you were nice, you had to stay that way, and it was too much _work_… 

Roy chuckled to himself. There were things worth working for – Becoming Fuhrer, easing Riza's temper, and those mighty fine legs on the third floor. Spoiling his men was not one of them. Just to clarify, Riza was a woman, one he could not sleep with or charm, and as such much scarier then anything else that could possibly be beholden by man. So she was given whatever the hell she wanted unless it came to the sacrifice of his left testicle. There he had to draw the line, but if it was honestly necessary, he could be swayed.

When that woman spoke, you listened; otherwise you meet the rather unfriendly end of a very shiny boom-bringer.

His happy little set of office slaves were working diligently – except for Havoc, but then, Roy was tempted to check and see if that man was hired simply to sit there and look pretty – scrambling about their desks and filing out the paperwork he himself hated to do. God, he needed a secretary. One with really nice legs. Like on the third floor….

He shook his head as he reached his desk, eyes searching for something mildly interesting to entertain him. He was pleasantly surprised by the stack of mail, a pretty blue envelope peeking out from amidst the boring white. Well now…

Flipping it over and scrutinizing the plain design, he was almost disgruntled to find no return address. With a shrug, he opened the letter, scanning the contents and smiling at the name. While it was a bit messy to read, he caught the gist.

'Roy,'

the easiest …' Things were a bit fuzzy, but he didn't think it actually said anything important.  
'Or, more I did.  
Hell, sometimes I still do, but I – well I can't bring myself to mean it anymore because while you're undeniably obnoxious to the point of giving even myself an aneurysm, I love you.'Once again the hand writing was scrunched and sloppy, like someone had tried to rush-write it in the dark on a stormy sea, but by its placement he could figure it said something like 'Sincerely yours' or 'with all my heart'

'Edw l' Bloody Hell!

Roy shook his head. Edw… What names started with Edw? Well, Edward. 

He chuckled at the idea of Ed done up in a bonnet and lipstick, fluttering eyelashes over his shoulder.

With a glance around the room he made sure Ed didn't know he was being laughed at, but then he realized Full Metal wasn't anywhere in the office. He couldn't help himself, falling into the most unmanly giggles as Riza approached.

"Oh this is priceless." He mumbled to himself, recalling the bonneted Ed. Maybe he'd have an umbrella, one of those pretty lacey ones.

When Riza moved to read the letter over his shoulder he asked her if Ed was in. he distinctly remember instructing the teen to come in for a lecture on proper decorum when dealing with fragile diplomatics – he'd blown things up, AGAIN – but with the mental image he'd concocted, there was no way the colonel was keeping a straight face around him.

As he further amused himself somewhere in his mind, Riza was blathering on about one thing or another. Probably paperwork. Still, he had to pretend he cared.

"Not a bad idea, actually." He said, relishing the surprised yet pleased look on her face. One more for the colonel, ladies beware. Roy gave her one of his rare smiles, not minding if _Riza_ thought she was special, because honestly, it kept her violence down to a minimum. For being the weakest of his team, it was rather disturbing she held the most fear of anyone he know.

"But you know how stubborn Ed can be sometimes he will probably deny writing that at first he will think you're just messing with his head trying to hurt him." She said.

Wait, what?

"Of course. I'll be sure to deal with it carefully." Something with Ed? What was he supposedly doing?

Roy shrugged. Whatever it was, surely he'd hear about it again later. For now he had to figure out what dazzling lady had just confessed her love to him in sure a mysterious fashion. Claimed 'Or, more I did.'

So, she 'did' something, thought he was obnoxious, but loved him; she left no address but wrote her name, which started with Edw… Edward, Edweird, Edwin… all boys names…

Wait.

Edwin… EDWINA! Of course!

Roy smiled victoriously. Edwina Raliton had been an old flame from military school. She hadn't been enrolled herself, but her older brother had been the same year. That she would want to strike up with him again… was promising.

He could clearly remember her soft pale skin, flaming red curls, and stunning green eyes.

That would beat Ed in a bonnet any day.

Well, maybe.

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A/N – I was most disappointed last time, so many wonderful reviews and only ONE soul! What a jip… grumbles


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